currently fascinated and invigorated and comforted by the permission to submit my full attention and care to another persons vision or creation. I watched Gracie abrams' interviews in this past hour and she's alway's paying omage to other people within the creation of her work and her intimate process. also with her being cast for A24's Please and her describing the experience as literally just getting to be the character that she had sm of a good time exploring the world of. and how there's no ownership except for the recognition maybe of resonance from her own inner world. i relate so much. i've always loved being a learner of others. i love the way she keeps that while being the face of all of the referenced people she cherishes. while she maintains them back. also her talking about clothes being an armor and how the audience judges without even saying anything makes me feel seen. like my perspective can suffice. and live in a real world. serving others redirects my attention other and puts my nervous system into purpose/connection mode. (jessie eisenberg)
also i came across this quote on an insta slide about how if what feels right/rational to me feels irrational to others, keep going its in service of my vision or smth like that. it was more like what feels rational to me might feel completely irrational to others. we all have our given visions. we get to bask in the absurdity and differences of each others visions. that makes room for me to take a hold of mine without adjusting for rearview mirrors.
the world is feeling closer. tools for connection more approachable. smth inside of my is reaching out my hand towards them in need. not out of muscle memory. labels are dissenagrating. quinteplets dont scare me rn. all just a name to the silly differences. and the worlds (lara jean?) i feel about people r being painted back onto them. scarily, exposingly to my eyes, unbenounced to them. until i tell them. for now its my secret.
